Tweets About Married Life

Sazzad Hossain
4 min readMay 4, 2017

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Married life isn’t all as glamorous as it might seem. Once you marry someone, you and your partner don’t become men and women. You are still children playing the part of an adult, and now you get to bumble around and try to figure out how things work with another adult-child. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, some wonderful husbands and wives have tweeted exactly what it’s like to be married. Here are 20 tweets that only married people will understand.

1. Avoidance

Try finding them when chores need to be done.

viaTwitter / @GrantTanaka

2. That One Time…

Just because you helped out once doesn’t mean you get a free pass for the rest of your life.

viaTwitter / @MommaUnfiltered

3. Forever Forgetful

But no matter how many times you ask, you’re still going to forget something each time.

viaTwitter / @DanielRCarrillo

4. True Love

Marriage is another way of saying you signed a contract to mess with someone for the rest of your lives.

viaTwitter / @Cheeseboy22

5. Open Your Eyes

Did you even really look?

viaTwitter / @wife_housy

6. Pest Control

Pretty much every woman who loves animals will use naming the animal as pest control.

viaTwitter / @HatfieldAnne

7. Sharing

This is why you lock yourself in the bathroom when you don’t want to share a snack.

viaTwitter / @tchrquotes

8. Man Child

I told you.

viaTwitter / @est1975blog

9. Death In Her Angel Eyes

It’s not true love if you haven’t plotted their murder at least a few times.

viaTwitter / @cbbrankley

10. Did I Say Share?

I meant get your own.

viaTwitter / @Xalqee

11. IKEA…

…destroying relationships since 1943.

viaTwiiter / @momesty

12. At Least She Asked First

You’re going to eat whatever she makes.

viaTwitter / @XplodingUnicorn

13. I’m Up All Night To Get Lucky

Tacos are the most epic win!

viaTwitter / @TheCatWhisprer

14. This Whole Sharing Thing…

…it’s way harder than I thought it would be.

viaTwitter / @ValeeGrrl

15. Golf Clap

Golf…the quietest sport and you dare disturb me?

viaTwitter / @HatfieldAnne

16. How To Properly Tell Time In A Marriage

I eat because of you.

viaTwitter / @crunchenhanced

17. You Don’t Know What Real Pain Is

And don’t you forget it.

viaTwitter / @KentWGraham

18. Yours, Mine, and Mine

It all becomes hers. All of it.

viaTwitter / @emily_simms81

19. Put On A Sweater

Pretty accurate description of how this goes down.

viaTwitter / @simoncholland

20. Problem Solved

Amateur. You’ll save more money by turning them inside out.

viaTwitter / @londonsma

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Sazzad Hossain
Sazzad Hossain

Written by Sazzad Hossain

A creative thinker & UX designer striving to bring forth deserving tools to the lime light. Co-founder of @BeeBackApp.

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